June 12, 2020

Beginning with Ourselves

I was writing this morning after having a good cry over some of the more heartbreaking news stories of these last few weeks. I asked myself for the thousandth time, what do I want to take with me to the other side of this? My answer kind of surprised me.

I want to take with me a better understanding that all of the moments count, not just the momentous ones that have us arriving at that long-anticipated, distant shore (like, I graduated or we bought a new house!). The sad moments, the ebullient moments. The crushing grief, the incandescent joy. The fear and uncertainty. They all count. It’s how we use these moments that matters. It’s using them to further our understanding of ourselves and each other, instead of using them to act against each other. 

We are where we are. We have to start here. It’s why sanctuary works at all. It’s why sanctuary is synonymous with the most tender and gentle self-care. Intentional self-nurturing. We start with that care. I start and end every day in sanctuary and this is why: I need a safe place, without judgement, where I can show up as my authentic self, with my worries, my heartaches and my triumphs. 

If the beginning of magic is the acceptance of what is, then I suggest also that the beginning transformation is the acceptance of what is and showing up to it. In our sanctuary we can show up to the moment, any moment, with acceptance. We are surrounded by an environment that holds us, cradles us while we experience those waves of grief or joy. Sanctuaries are not only flexible, they are adaptable. Like water, they take the shape of the container that holds them – the room, the house, the car, the garden, the heart. 

Sanctuaries embrace us without judgement so that we can meet ourselves without judgment. From there we can use the moments, all the moments, as a catalyst for change, growth and transformation. Because to transform the world, we have to begin with ourselves. 

With love and gratitude,


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