Today is an interesting anniversary. Right about one year ago, the pandemic reached my full awareness and after being momentarily shocked, stunned and dismayed, I regrouped. I felt a surprising sense of relief at everything being cancelled, at the prospect of staying home for awhile and looked at what I might learn from my circumstance. I found myself writing several intentions:
I will not go back to working at this manic pace again.
I will not fill every minute with busyness.
I will pause and be present as much as possible.
And as I consider these thoughts a full year later, I am reviewing how successful I have been. Being honest with myself, I have gone back to a manic pace. And while I have not filled EVERY minute with busyness, I’ve been more occupied that I might like to be. Have I paused and been present? Yes, somewhat. But my resolve has been not exactly perfect.
I was on a call with a mastermind group last week and as everyone shared their current status, progress and successes, I had a moment of panic. I was not opening new offices in distant cities. I was not planning to scale my business into the hundreds of millions in sales. I was not the bastion of corporate culture that magnetizes new talent in droves. I was just me, struggling and wondering why I was not even keeping up with the promises I had made to myself one short year ago.
A bit of a disconnect.
It’s why when I read this post about the parable of the Mexican fisherman I appreciated the author’s suggestion that we need to ask ourselves better questions. Questions like these:
What is important to me?
What do I want?
Who do I have to be to have those things?
What experience will bring me the greatest transformation?
When I consider these questions, I realize a few things that are true. Ironically, I don’t actually want those things I had that moment of panic over. But I do want the results of the intentions I set: more presence, more clarity, more time to BE. I want a deeper, richer experience of life that brings me meaning, fulfillment and joy. I want sanctuary in every possible way.
From that space of self-awareness, I can decide whether to grow my business, rework my schedule or tackle new initiatives. I can decide what to focus on and what doesn’t really resonate with my values and goals.
Drinking the poison of comparison is tempting to all of us at times. But it really IS poison. Asking myself questions that bring clarity and understanding is turning out to be a far better use of my energy.
Do you ever compare yourself or your circumstances to others? I’d love to hear — comment below and let’s talk about it!
With love and gratitude,